Ep #159: Gratitude and Letting Things Be Easy

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you’, it will be enough.” Meister Eckhart. This podcast will be released on Thanksgiving here in the United States, and so I wanted to extend that giving-thanks energy to this community all over the world with a few quiet thoughts on gratitude, and maybe sometimes letting things be so easy that it makes you a little uncomfortable.

You are listening to The Art School Podcast; a show for artists and creatives who want to become the next greatest version of themselves. Learn how to cultivate an extraordinary way of being and take the mystery out of making money, and the struggle out of making art. Here is your host, master certified life coach, artist, and former lawyer, Leah Badertscher.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Art School Podcast. And if you are one of my listeners in the United States, happy Thanksgiving. And to all of my listeners all around the world, I also want to extend my gratitude to you for being here, for listening, and again, as I mentioned last week, for being the reason this podcast has currently landed in the top 2% of podcasts globally. Thank you so, so very much.

And for those of you that do have the holidays, are in the midst of the holidays, I’ve mentioned on these kinds of podcasts in previous years, whether it’s on Christmas or Thanksgiving, how I will be thinking of you. I love to go out for a long walk in the midst of all the festivities and eating and that you will be among the reasons that I count my blessings.

So, a little bit of a backstory about this podcast. This last week was the last week, our last session of Art School. And here it comes again. It has been an incredible 12 weeks, to say the least. As a few of my members who then reached out – who have been alumni before and obviously they liked it so they have reenrolled at least one time, if not every time.

And they said, you know, “That was an incredible up-level. That was the most epic Art School yet.” And I agree. And there were so many things that even just happened or slid into place these last two weeks for people. And as you can tell, I’m feeling a lot of energy around it. And it comes through as sadness, but I led with that Meister Eckhart quote because it was the last day of Art School when I was just without words.

I just feel a big energy coming through and there is definitely so much gratitude there. And thank you seems like not enough. But I am going to trust someone that was a tremendous philosopher and that I consider a mystic and a sage, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you’, it will be enough.”

So, I definitely said thank you to my Art School community. And it also felt a little bit like it wasn’t enough though. And knowing everything I know about the profound importance of gratitude for everyone’s life, and in particular I’m fascinated with how it helps us to be more capital-C Creative, how it allows us to access flow.

There are a lot of scientific studies. There’s a lot of research around this. And that is not what this particular episode is going to be about though; not the research, not the science. It was in this moment where I was feeling this immense energy and also feeling it come through as sadness and quietness and it was not the kind of celebratory energy you would expect when something has gone down the way it has gone down, and particularly like I said, the last two weeks.

And also, being able to witness the honor and the privilege, the deep gratifying reward of being able to do with that is life work, that you know is really making a difference in people’s lives and you get to see them run with it and you get to see them change their lives, and you get to see them create amazing things.

And there were so many art babies to come out of this Art School. And then also that came to life in this Art School that were put in place maybe three years ago. Just last week, I got to attend a joint art exhibit by one of our prior former Art School alum, Genevieve Jordan, with a current Art Schooler who is also an alum, Anna Drew.

And Genevieve wrote a book about Anna and illustrated it. They got together, again, for this beautiful, amazing art show. I got to hug both of them in real life. And Hope Dunbar, in this last week, released another beautiful, incredible album, You Let the Light In.

And as Hope has a way with words, as you might imagine, being the amazing songwriter she is. And she had written that it’s important to make a big deal out of a big deal. And that that has been one of her lessons that she’s learned. It is important. Like, one way of expressing gratitude for yourself and the process and everyone who makes it come to life is by celebrating, is by making a big deal out of a big deal.

And man, I have felt like Art School is a big deal. And I also feel this quietness around it. And I was thinking, you know, it’s strange too, the pressure I sometimes feel about documenting, like documenting on social media things that happen in Art School or creativity and, you know, if you don’t document it, if you don’t document client success, if I don’t tell everybody’s story, if I don’t tell the insights that they have through their process, if I don’t screenshot the private messages I get with breakthroughs or celebrations or huge moments in their lives, or photos even of the dream property coming to life or the dream connection being made or them in the dream moment, there is this sense of, did it happen? Is it happening?

But I know it is. And so, I acknowledge that there is such a pull to feel like the way to make a big deal out of a big deal is to always document it or be oud or exuberant. And there might come a point where that is authentically what I am feeling. But I realized these last couple days, and I really had to sit with it for a couple days, even before I could make this podcast. Because man, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to make this without bawling my eyes out.

And I sensed, you know what? There is this tremendous energy here. And it feels quiet and it feels deep and it feels like I need to allow myself more space to let it come through. And here is something that occurred to me; one of the specific thoughts that I wanted to share with you today and that I think will be helpful for many of you. I hope it will.

Because a lot of times, what I hear from my clients is that they know, they’ve read the same studies I have. They’ve been preached to about gratitude before. And then they make their lists of things they’re grateful for, but they’re not feeling any differently. They are trying on the positive thoughts of gratitude, but it’s not shifting for them at a cellular level, at a spiritual level, and then it’s not shifting things in their experience and they know there is something more they are yet to get.

And so, what I want to offer, I think, may help with that because I was thinking about that myself, like okay, I know the drill. Make a list of all the things that have happened, done that, I know all that, aware of that, still feeling like I haven’t landed upon the epiphany or that energetic shift that integrates things, that feels like closing the loop, where it feels like celebration is an act of integration.

I was in a place where I had not yet integrated all of these things that had happened. And I still have more integration to do, for sure. But here is something that has been profoundly helpful for me. I was thinking about how Joe Dispenza says, “Gratitude is the ultimate state of receivership.”

And so, I started there. and I believe that 100%. For anything you’re trying to create or manifest, gratitude is a high vibration. Gratitude does put you, celebrating something does put you in that place where you tend to attract and are able to create, take action from a place of then having more to celebrate. But it felt like there was so much for me to do in that process. Like I had to do gratitude.

And then I was like, “Oh, a-ha, that is nothing wrong with the masculine, but a little bit out of balance.” So, I flipped the phrase from, for these moments, for this time anyway, gratitude being the ultimate state of receivership, to receivership being the ultimate state of gratitude.

And I could feel my entire body in being relaxed. I could feel something that was trying too hard within me to sort of let down, and that the gates opened, and then I could actually feel like I was receiving all of these epic things that have happened recently and that I have had a hand in creating, or creating the container for or the ecosystem that helps other people then tap into this place where they are at their most powerful and creative selves.

When I went to receivership is the ultimate state of gratitude, then I could really feel what I had intellectually known was true, in that you are doing something that you’ve always wanted to do, Leah, and you get to be a witness to people being so courageous and so creative and consciously creating their lives, creating their dream lives and living their own lives in a way that is profoundly meaningful for them and impacts everyone in their lives.

I was able to receive what a gift that is, rather than just think, “You know this is a gift. Why aren’t you feeling it?” I was actually able to not just think that but feel it and know it and receive it. So, for any of you who are like, “I’ve made my list of blessings. I’ve counted them twice. And I don’t feel like it’s connecting yet. I don’t feel it with my entire being. I think that gratitude, I should feel some shift,” maybe try this; receivership is the ultimate state of gratitude.

How can you allow yourself to relax and receive everything, instead of trying to make gratitude one more thing that you do? So, that could be something that, if you join me virtually for a Thanksgiving day walk or Thanksgiving weekend walk, even if you’re not American, I would encourage you to do that, just allowing this to be a time of the year when you harvest the fruits of your labor this last year, where you celebrate all of the blessings that have come to you.

And if you’ve done that in the past and it’s felt hollow, you think you’re supposed to feel, see if you can just slow it down a bit and allow yourself to just receive. What would it feel like just to receive all of these things?

And I think this is the big quiet, very big – which I think is why the tears keep coming – energy that I realized I needed to follow. Not this big, make splashy posts all over social media, detailing all the accomplishments and things like that. That just felt really exhausting to me. And that might feel more natural and aligned at some point.

But at this point, when I allowed for the energy to be what it was – and that was actually the first step that I should back up and say, which allowed that thought to come through, that flipped the gratitude is the ultimate state of receivership. Which, again, I love and I will use, to in this moment what I needed to hear and what opened the gates for me, receivership is the ultimate form of gratitude.

I was able to connect with that guidance and those words when instead of thinking, “Gosh, I should be popping corks on stories or Reels or something. And instead I’m like, no but that is not at all what I’m feeling.” What I, again, am feeling is this big quiet, so quiet, deep energy. I want to go for long walks outside, take in the last of the beautiful autumn colors here. I want to tuck in with my family and feel that nurturing connection. I want to read with them. I want to curl up on the couch and settle in with some really great books that I’ve been saving up and savor them.

I want to set a beautiful harvest table and have a beautiful, quiet, candlelit Thanksgiving dinner with my family and create these big, wide-open moments early in the morning, or again, outside, just to allow things to catch up with me.

And so, if that resonates with you, I wanted to offer that today. That was one of the thoughts on gratitude that I had to share with you, as well as again shoutout to Hope Dunbar for the line of, “It’s important. It is so important to make a big deal out of a big deal.” And to let yourself have the space to figure out, what does that mean to you? What does making a big deal mean to you?

And it doesn’t have to mean maybe what that sounds like. Like I said, I had this idea that, gosh, I need to be documenting what everyone has done and all their success stories, all of the beautiful narratives of their process, of really how they’ve done this inner work and how it’s manifested outwardly. I need to get on the ball and collect testimonials and talk about stories of, again, just amazing, beautiful people doing amazing, beautiful things.

And there might come a time for that, but it also felt like it was coming from scarce energy, which is not abundance. It’s not that cornucopia of abundance that this holiday, this Thanksgiving holiday is meant to celebrate. And so, I’m trusting that. And again, I want to invite you to trust your own ways of celebrating the abundance in your life and of giving thanks for it.

I want to invite you to, “Oh my gosh, I want to encourage you, make a big deal out of the big deals in your life.” Even if those big deals aren’t big deals to other people. If it’s epic to you – I mean, I know for me, the fact that this is, I think, the 159^th episode and there has been such a healing aspect to creating this podcast for me and using my voice so that, while this is a public medium and that’s the intention, there has been something so intimate and personal for me.

And so, thank you all. I couldn’t have done this intersection of, you know, great inner personal healing without knowing you were there listening. And if you’re still listening by this point, like 160 podcasts in, or even 20 minutes into this episode, I guess I’m just going to choose to believe that you are a benevolent force in the universe and, you know, you can be as skeptical or a judgmental, I guess, or critical of me as you like. But I’m kind of sitting over here, sitting back and relaxing into the third point that I wanted to offer you today.

So, that first was allowing yourself to receive, allowing receivership to be the ultimate state of gratitude. The second point was making a big deal out of big deals. Celebrating it. Knowing what that means for you in any given instant, letting it be unique to you and letting the experience speak to you about what it needs to be.

Third is about benevolence, sensing for, allowing yourself to believe in benevolent presences in your life and the universe that are, to go back to the story I shared with you last week of the bird on my screen porch, that are like the person that was me, holding the door open, propping the door open, wanting that bird to fly out.

This is another story that – there have been some beautiful stories in the Art School, expressions of this, manifestations of this in the last two weeks. And I really think this is a gamechanger for anyone, any human being, any creative human being, and particularly for those of you listening who are wanting to create something really big in your life.

And that is this lesson of leaning into the fact that there are benevolent presences in the universe, benevolent energies that want for you what you want for you.

So, I won’t retell the whole story about the bird on my screen porch, but in short, there was this bird that was trying to get out frantically and it kept flying into the window. And I was holding the door open, wanting for the bird the same thing the bird wanted; freedom. To go home. That wild blue yonder, to feel better, to fly.

And I could tell it was so agitated, so I just left the door open and kind of felt like it would gather itself and calm down and find its way out. And it did. And my takeaway from that scenario though is that was also a message for me.

And a message, a story that I would share as well is that, when we keep trying to force outcomes and also when we are so worked up because maybe a past trauma – a lot of times it is. Maybe because of our own prior, perceived shortcomings or failures. We are, like, whipped up into this fight or flight scarcity mode, fight for survival, or in survival mode and we just keep throwing ourselves at the thing that looks like the way out.

And then, it’s like we bounce off this invisible forcefield. And for us – for the bird it was the window. But for us, the metaphor is that’s us. And as we’ve been talking, revisiting Gay Hendricks’ The Great Leap and the upper limit phenomenon, the upper limit problem in these last few episodes – which is actually a really great build up to this episode because, again, gratitude is the ultimate state of receivership, when we can put ourselves in a state of gratitude, in a state of receivership.

You know, when that bord settled down and its senses came back to it, birds have instincts, the same way we do. They have acute sensory perception. It could sense that a door was open.

And we also are equipped. There is an energy PS, a homing system within us that it can see what it is that we want, where home is for us, what our wild blue yonder, our freedom is outside the places that we feel trapped or too small and confined. And if we can let ourselves settle, which is what gratitude and receivership do, they calm us down. They calm the central nervous system. Then we can access these not only higher levels of thought, but also wisdom and intuition and our ability to be in touch with that inner GPS, that inner navigational system, that inner North Star that then will help us find our way out of the too-small and into that wide-open space; that freedom, that dream we can see but we keep running up against an invisible forcefield.

So, here the metaphor is that that window for us is our upper limit. And I thought about this myself too with the sadness that I felt with all of these great things going on, like is this limiting for me? And so, that is also one of the reasons I’m slowing down. Because I do sense a really big energy coming through and I can create space for everything that comes with it. and also, I want to return back though to this point of benevolence.

Again, over and over the last few weeks, there were these shifts for my clients where things going from, “Oh, I have to do well enough to convince this person,” or being intimidated by someone who seems to hold a position that could change the trajectory of someone’s entire career or life.

And so, we did a lot of coaching around many aspects of this, including all of the ways to remove oneself from a permission paradigm and put oneself back into the seat of agency. And though also with that, it’s looking at the ways where we assume that people don’t want to help us. We assume the absence of benevolence in the universe or others. We assume an absence of goodwill or the absence of intervening outer resources, people, opportunities, circumstances that do want to come together and facilitate our quantum leaps, our big breakthroughs, our biggest dreams coming to life.

So, that’s the third point that I wanted to offer you today among these other thoughts about gratitude. Is to think about the benevolence in the world around you and to see if you can put yourself in a state of receiving those energies, being grateful for all of the places you have already experienced benevolence and been the recipient of it, putting yourself in a state too where your mind is expecting that in others.

And a really great way to do that also is to think of the ways you already are a benevolent presence for others, a benevolent energy for others, and to think of the ways you can continue to be. And maybe things that you will do going forward that demonstrate that, whether it’s buying the coffee for someone else that’s behind you in the line at Starbucks, whether it is a grand gesture, like donating quite a bit of money to something you care about, or your time, or whether it’s mentoring someone, or just facilitating an opportunity for someone else. Something that puts you into a position of being an agent of benevolence for someone else.

That’s another way to kind of connect with this benevolent energy, which I think – if you think of gratitude as being this palette of color or flavors or textures, that is a pretty profound one, both being on the receiving end of it and also being a channel, a vessel, an agent, an expression, an embodiment of benevolence yourself.

And the last thought that I wanted to share with you today on gratitude and giving thanks is this thought of, what about the times when we can let things be so easy that it makes us uncomfortable. And I have heard this thought before, particularly the let it be easy and let it be simple and let it be fun. And I’ve talked about this on the podcast before.

But I hadn’t woven it into the discussion around gratitude, I think. I don’t think I’ve done that before yet. And it occurred to me to do so. Shoutout to my fellow masterminder in Laura Belgrave’s Shrimp Club, Emily King, who proposed this question to me recently when I was masterminding, workshopping some ideas of mine.

And she said, “What about if this is a place where, if you let it be so easy, that it makes you uncomfortable?” And I was like, bingo, nailed it, that’s just what I needed. And it seems also aligned with the energy of this podcast, where I was feeling quiet and vast and deep and wanting to celebrate and also not feeling like this big resistance as in it’s wrong to do this big, huge, exuberant, again, popping corks kind of celebratory Thanksgiving energy.

And so, it did make me a little uncomfortable to record this podcast, and not from an exuberant fireworks place. And it also allowed me to tap into what is true and necessary and needed for me right now. It seems very much aligned too with receivership being the ultimate state of gratitude.

And that’s why I wanted to share it with you because I think, for many of us, we are uncomfortable with receivership. We are uncomfortable with letting ourselves really fully bask in what we have done, what we have created, and particularly the big breaks that we get.

We upper limit around letting things be too good, particularly if we didn’t break ourselves for it, if we didn’t exhaust ourselves, if we weren’t like sweating blood the entire time, we could upper limit. And by not being grateful, by then not allowing benevolence to come in, by not allowing benevolence and good fortune and big breaks and lucky breaks to play a factor in our life and in our creations and in our success.

And I know for sure this manifests often with many of my clients who are hard workers, overachievers, have come from backgrounds where you don’t want to get too big for your birches, and being called lucky is really a backhanded compliment – backhanded, a compliment that’s actually an insult, or it’s intended to be. And yet, I do see this as one way where we cap our ability to really experience gratitude for all of life, because we feel guilty, we feel ashamed, we feel like, “What did I do to deserve that? Other people don’t get to do that.”

And so, I think this question is a great way to relax into receivership and begin to feel the places where you might be upper limiting, you might be slowing your roll and keeping yourself from living in your zone of excellence, from living in your truth because you’re wanting it to be harder, you’re making it harder.

Oh my gosh, I have endless examples for this and the power of doing this work with myself or clients and then the power of relaxing into the energy that wants to come through you. And again, this question; what would be so easy that it makes you uncomfortable?

An amazing way to really open yourself up to receive everything in life and particularly the genius and the gifts that want to flow through you. Because for a lot of us, when we’re flowing our genius, it feels natural. No natural, we’re not even sure what we’re doing. We don’t feel like we’re working. And then the guilt kicks in and we’re like, “Oh, so I better unconsciously limit my opportunities. I better somehow self-sabotage because no one should be able to create this much money, fulfilment, love, happiness, success this easily.

And so, we shut that stuff down. But I am all about helping people facilitate into that capital-C Creative space. And when you are there, you will be creating and manifesting things in such a way that it feels so easy, it feels just like you’re finally being who you’re meant to be and things are happening and things are falling into place. You feel that kind of shift and celebrating that and being in a safe place to celebrate that is so important.

I have been – well, I’ve opened enrollment for the Art School Mastermind and also have done it honoring, at this moment, this quiet, deep energy. I was joking with the Art School that sometimes I kind of feel pulled to do this as a secret society, in a fun way. Not yet entirely, but the words that I share with them about the mastermind and the design of it, the way I kicked it off was, you know, with this Art School Mastermind was, “In here, whatever you are thinking, it’s going to happen.” That’s how high the energy, that’s the vibration of this group. That’s the capital C vibration.

And so, this kind of podcast is going to be a requisite podcast for anyone moving into that space because we’re going to be dropping all of the ways, all of the drag, cutting all the psychic drag, all the baggage we carry about how we need to toil endlessly and put endless incremental steps, artificial steps between us and who we can be now, and instead we’re going to start there and then rise from there.

And me deciding that, that that is actually what I do and what this mastermind is, that also fit the bill of one of those things that felt so easy and so right and natural that it makes me a little bit uncomfortable. This is what we’re doing, whatever you’re thinking of. And here, it’s going to happen. That’s the vibration. That’s the level of coaching. That’s how extraordinary the coaching. That’s how extraordinary the experience. That’s how extraordinary the community, and also, man, I have learned so much over the years about creating the right environment for someone to naturally blossom.

Because that is what we’re meant to do. We are meant to flow our capital-C Creativity. If you have a dream, it’s chosen you. And then, you are meant to bring that to fruition. And it’s not meant to be all of these years and all of this angst and all of the ways that we’re conditioned to do self-inflicted limitation and suffering.

I want people to experience what it’s like to be a human so in touch with the strong, healthy core of creativity that they’re thinking of it, they’re doing it, they’re thinking of it, they’re doing it, they’re thinking of it, they’re doing it.

And likely, if you’re listening, you have admired humans like that. And it’s because you are one. So, creating the kind of room where yeah you let yourself be a little uncomfortable, that it gets to be that easy, that natural to be you doing you, creating your magic in the world your way, where you get to receive the benefits of the gifts that you came with, where you get to receive the way you are built and receive the fact that you’re built in such a way that you are built to flourish and thrive and prosper and rise.

So, this brings me to the part of the podcast where I want you to do more than just listen. I want you to lean in and really work with me, coach with me.

So, for you, I do want to invite you, whether it’s journaling or meditation or taking a long walk with this episode and chewing on it, contemplating it, what for you feels like it puts you into a state of receivership? It puts you into a state of receiving all of those things that you know you should be grateful for, but you are just not feeling it?

And then next, where is there something that is such a big deal for you? I don’t care of anyone else gets it. I have plenty of people in my life who know I do a podcast and they don’t know what a big deal it is to me. When I do this podcast they’re like, “Oh, that’s cute, you have a podcast.”

So, for me, it’s important then that I find ways to honor what a big deal this is for me, and then again to think about what’s your version of a big deal in any given circumstance? I am still contemplating, what is the right ritual, what is the right celebration for me for this last round of Art School?

Because it definitely was an up-level. Something huge has shifted and my brain is still catching up with it. As my friend Christie Inge likes to say, the brain is always the last to know. And that’s for sure the case here.

So, part of the way that I’m expressing gratitude or moving into a state of receivership is just allowing myself the ability to slow down and reflect and let things catch up with me.

So, could it be for you that making a big deal out of a big deal is, yes, creating space, creating a nurturing experience for yourself where you let things catch up with you? Instead of thinking gratitude is one more thing you have to go out and do, that okay, that happened, you did that, but now what are you doing next? “And make your gratitude list because that’s one thing you have to do next…” What if you allowed yourself to relax and drop into yourself and let life catch up to you, let gifts find you?

Next, the element of reflecting on benevolence and benevolent energy and presences and opportunities and how you can also be an embodiment, an agent of benevolence. And then last, ask yourself this juicy question. In what area of life where you’re trying to either receive something or create something, what would be so easy it makes you uncomfortable? And just hanging out with that.

Why does it make you uncomfortable? And again, if it’s helpful revisiting these last few episodes where we’ve mentioned the upper limit problem, where we’ve talked about Gay Henricks’ The Big Leap, we are going to be – that’s one of our central books in the upcoming mastermind, along with a few others that I have planned for them.

But I do think that is such a rich question and will illuminate maybe these invisible barriers where you keep flying into a window, a forcefield you can’t see, and you know it’s you. So, asking yourself, what ways can I allow this to be so easy that it makes me uncomfortable?

Thank you for listening to another episode of The Art School Podcast. Thank you, thank you for helping me make it into the top 2%. And I would love your continued support and I also appreciate your encouragement. That’s so kind to get notes from you, celebrating this with me, celebrating this audacious goal with me to make it to a million downloads.

Also, if you would like to learn more about working with me, you can do so by emailing us, support@leahcb.com, connecting with me on Instagram, @leahcb1, or by visiting my website and signing up for my newsletter, www.leahcb.com.

And if you want to be in the room where whatever you’re thinking of, that’s what’s going to happen, then you will want to apply for the upcoming Art School Mastermind. We kick off in January officially, but I am holding bonus calls, including private calls for early enrollees in early December. And then also again in early January before we convene.

So, not only is there an early bird tier. That is a great reason to apply now and be considered for the Art School Mastermind. But there are also opportunities to the jumpstart your work by connecting with the community, getting coached by me, both in the group environment, I’ll also be doing teaching, and by working with me one on one.

So, again, if you are interested in applying for the Art School Mastermind, this will be a six-month mastermind to start with in 2022. We’re going to go from January to June. It’s mid-January to mid-June. Then email us, support@leahcb.com or check out the mastermind link in the show notes or find it on my website.

The application deadline to be considered for the early bird discount is December, I believe, 12^th. And we also have already a mastermind meeting coming up in the second week of December, before that. And this is also a group where I am limiting enrollment to 20 people. So, all kinds of reasons to, if you are thinking about it or on the fence, I would apply.

In order to be accepted, I want this to be a whole-body yes for you, if you are going to say yes to it. But in terms of applying, if you’re feeling called or on the fence, I’ve heard from applicants already that just doing the application was a shift and an up-level for them. And that’s completely free. So, I would invite you to do the same. And again, we will have that link for you in the show notes.

So, to close today, I wanted to do just a little mini nuanced coach with me for those of you who are maybe needing a little bit more guidance on, “What does she mean by receivership? How do you put yourself in that state?”

So, I like to find things that are very specific and immediate and small seeming – they’re not really small – to begin with. So, for instance, one way I started this shift for me from kind of feeling blocked from feeling gratitude to moving into a state of receivership was I looked at my daughter’s Christmas list, Blaise’s letter to Santa Claus.

And I’m reading down it and reading down it and it’s so adorable. And she’s learning cursive. She’s in second grade, so she’s so excited about practicing that. It’s so sweet. And then, I get to – you know, there’s all these things that are kind of like things of kids these days, like fidgets, poppets, some sort of Pokémon plush toy. And then I get to roller skates and it takes up three lines, the height of it, where everything else took up one. And she put a sticker next to it that says, like, “This one.” And it’s got little illustrations and drawings around it.

And oh my god, I just felt my heart split in two and open. The sweetness of that. And then, to the next line down was even bigger than the roller skates. It was like five lines and it said, “Knitting needles.” And again, it had all these illustrations around it and hearts. And it’s because she gets to do fiber arts at school. They have a wonderful fiber arts teacher and she has fallen in love with this and with knitting.

And she and her little friends make these little animals, like little bunnies, tiny little bunny dolls or other little mousey dolls, stuff them, knit them and then stuff the insides. And then they take scraps of fabric and dress them up. She’s been rifling through all my old jewelry and pulling out pieces to just make various adornments for her little friends. And then she and her friends swap these things and trade them.

And also, she just wants to knit more things. And something about letting myself, as we say in the Art School, period pause, and hold a big, quiet, vast space for taking in the sweetness of a child’s Christmas list and of seeing what’s important to them right now come through in terms of how her penmanship changed, the height of the line, and then that led me into thinking about her in general, her personality in general and this sweet little time where – you know, she’s got a PlayStation on there too. Not getting that. Yes, that’s a different story for a different day. But no to the gaming system.

And then this, yeah, this manifestation of, like, something so sweet about her finding joy and making things with her own hands and doing this with her friends and asking for that for Christmas, that kind of split me open in a way that opened the rest of the floodgates for me, focusing on that.

I was also thinking too, oh my gosh – this will be the crying episode, guys. It’s my sister’s birthday this weekend. My sister, Elizabeth, who is my younger sister, who doesn’t always seem like my younger sister. When I was pregnant the first time, she drove all the way, hours out, to help me paint a nursery and get it ready. And so, I just wanted to wish her a happy birthday because she was also one of those things – not one of those things…

She’s one of the reasons I found my way back into sitting in a place of receivership and letting gifts catch up with me. She’s pretty phenomenal. And we also call her Bissy, our Mighty Sis, Bis. And then, so our brothers, my two brothers and I were texting over phone about going in on gifts for her. And I also let that be this place of gratitude, these sibling relationships and how we are trying to think of things that would really be awesome for her and going in on doing that together.

Which then led me to think of one of the most beautiful gifts I have ever received. A beloved, dear friend sent me this awesome Johnny Was blanket a couple of years ago. I was not expecting it at all. I think of her every time I wrap myself up in it or that my children fight me for it and take it off to their own rooms.

And so, we were talking about giving her something like that, so she can wrap herself up in something so beautiful and soft and think of us every time that she does.

You know, and once I was there and that kind of energy was flowing, then I sat with just moments that I had in conversation with clients over the last 12 weeks and really let that sink in, that this gets to be my life. Because it can very easily, when you are also running a business and paying bills and doing the marketing piece, you can get disconnected from that, from the entire reason you were doing it in the first place. So, letting myself sink into that vast, deep energy with all of those moments, and that I don’t have to broadcast or document all of those, but I can revisit them and connect with them and know them deeply myself.

So, that’s just a little bit extra coach with me that I wanted to offer you if you find yourself still, like, “Okay, receivership, but how do I do that?” Start with that first taste of coffee in the morning. Start with something really small that grabs you. And it will, if this is your intention that you really want to move into this space.

There was a benevolent force definitely that guided me to land my eyes on the right time Blaise’s Christmas list. Because I knew I was seeking that reconnection to receivership and gratitude, and something left her list right out there, right in my path for me to see it. And that same benevolent force is doing the same for you. And it is probably the same benevolent force that has put you in the way of this particular podcast episode. One more nudge, invitation, perhaps kick in the pants to settle into your gifts and to sense that way to freedom, to sense that natural path to you, to everything that you deep down know is possible for you.

It is real. And you’re absolutely on your way there. I am so grateful for all of you. Have a beautiful, nourishing, celebratory week, everyone, and I will talk with you next time.