Ep #130: What if You’re Wrong?

Maybe one of the most surprising and delightful things about coaching is discovering how incredible it can feel to learn that you have been wrong, particularly to learn that your thinking has been wrong.

This was certainly a surprise to me and it’s also one of my favorite things to still experience as a student, as a recipient, a client, a receiver of coaching work. And it is one of my favorite things to facilitate and witness in my clients. Because it really is that bondage of limiting beliefs falling away.

In today’s episode and in next week’s episode, I have for you what I hope to be pure medicine. And the cure is in discovering all the ways in which you were wrong all along. And trust me, if you’re skeptical, hang in here. This is so much like that experience that’s represented by the figure of the laughing Buddha, who represents that potential joy, that freedom, that truth within us that is released when we see the Truth, the capital T Truth of who we are, when we penetrate through the veils of limiting thoughts and behaviors and we see through all the patterns of self-inflicted or conditioned suffering that we have held onto in these prisons made by our minds for years and maybe even decades.

It is the kind of discovery that leads to true freedom and it’s available to all of us. So, I hope you’ll join us today and discover how it has never felt so right to learn all the ways in which you’ve been wrong.

You are listening to The Art School Podcast; a show for artists and creatives who want to become the next greatest version of themselves. Learn how to cultivate an extraordinary way of being and take the mystery out of making money, and the struggle out of making art. Here is your host, master certified life coach, artist, and former lawyer, Leah Badertscher.

Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Art School Podcast. So, I want to always start this with, “I hope this finds you well.” And I really do hope that that’s true. And I also hear from many of you that this podcast has been with you through all parts of your journeys, through the highs and through the lows. And I have recently received messages from those of you who I feel like we connect in spirit but we haven’t met in person yet who have said that I have been like your little friend in your pocket.

You put on your ear pods and go for a walk. I have heard more than a few times now that some of you are on physical healing journeys, going to chemo treatments and you use the podcast to help you on those days and through those weeks. And others of you are healing through answering the call to return to your art, to return to your dreams, to return to your creativity. And perhaps you’ve been there and the healing is allowing yourself the full dream, the real dream, the one that seems unrealistic to everyone else, but in your heart of hearts, you know it’s the truth for you.

And I could not be more grateful to hear that. And it really struck me on a different level. I’ve always been grateful. But this last week, I thought, what I really want to deliver for the next two podcasts, something that feels like medicine. Because I think, for me, when I’m going through times of heartache, major or minor, but nonetheless, it’s all emotional pain, emotional difficulty, it’s all really real.

And I think of those times when I am just craving the right word, the right tone, the right message and so, I sat with, “Okay, what is the message? If I want to be a clear channel, what is the message that I’m called to speak to this week?”

So, this week’s episode and next week’s episode are a little different than what I had planned. But it’s what I felt called to share and it also is what organically has arisen in the Art School and have been very hot topics. And in fact, my brilliant Art Schoolers have spoken so eloquently, so wisely, so compassionately. So, I wanted to share some of their words as well because that is one of the magics of the Art School, is that yes, I am there as the coach, as the founder, and also, I know that part of what is mine is to know what’s not mine, that part of what is mine is to create this sacred container, to create this space, hold a space for the community that attracts really extraordinary creative minds and spirits and generous hearts and it’s the interaction and the back and forth and it’s what the individuals, their energy, their experiences, their minds, their nuance, their creativity, their spirits.

It’s what makes it unlike any other coaching program or artists’ group or community group. And I’m not saying that – I’ve been a part of many amazing ones that I love and still am, so I’m not saying it’s better than. But what I am saying is that is really an extraordinary community. And I am proud and I am also grateful. And again, grateful for the generosity of the members and their support for one another.

I mean, most of them are strangers when they come in. So, it really is phenomenal and it is also medicine. It is just medicine to be around and in the orbit of magnificent people like this. You know, I know the importance of testimonials. If you are in business, you know the importance of testimonials and I’m always so grateful for the ones that my clients share.

And oftentimes, it’s the messages I receive though that are like the private messages that then I wouldn’t share or use as a testimonial which move me the most, the ones I print and keep off. Because again and again, what I hear is that this is a life-changing experience. And I wanted to share that to start tis episode because what I want to share on this episode and next week’s episode, I do know can be life-changing medicine for those of you listening.

So, even if you’re not in officially the Art School community now or yet, or you just want to stay listening from afar, I still wanted to share that energy and magic, that life-changing potential with you. So, I do sincerely hope that you’ll take these words and not just listen, but use them and apply them to your life. Because again, it’s that rubber meets the road place where you’re cooking with gas that makes all of the difference, that truly is the game-changer.

So, I will get to that core content, the heart of this episode in just a moment. And before we do, I also wanted to thank everyone who has sent congratulatory messages or who has already preordered my book, Wild Blue Yonder. It’s a book of poetry and creative invitations. It’s now available on Amazon, although it currently says out of stock. That should be fixed too because it’s just new there, Barnes and Noble, all online sellers.

This book itself and poetry itself for me is also very germane to the topic that we’ll be discussing today. But thank you for celebrating one of my art babies with me. It feels so good to have it completed. I love the feeling of completion. I love that it’s shipped out in the world. I love looking at all the things that come up for me now that it is.

Truly, I’m okay. I’m in good shape with it. I’m way more feeling excited and happy and I 110% know that my intuition was spot on with doing this book when I did and in the way that I did it. and I’m just so grateful. I mean, I was enthusiastic. I didn’t even think about other people’s enthusiasm. It just felt like such a, I don’t know, it felt like an understated amazing completion. But something about the understatedness of it, for me, actually felt immense. There was the quietness, the quiet completion of it, if that makes any sense. It also felt very immense and just soundly good to me.

So, again, thank you for all of you who have preordered or have jut expressed your excitement for me. Thank you, thank you. And for those of you who have asked about upcoming Art Schools, just a quick rundown of housekeeping items.

The next full Art School will open for enrolment in just a week or two. So, keep your eyes peeled for that because we do have limited spaces. Because as of this moment, we are growing. But I am still your front and center mentor and coach. And I get in it. And I coach people at length, focused. But then, if you write to me in the forum, you get a full thoughtful response.

I am like, gloves off, diving in, hold nothing back. And so, with that, I also keep the group size to a number that I can navigate, it facilitates great community but then again isn’t so big that you don’t have personal, individualized attention from me or you feel like I don’t know the ins and outs and particulars of your project, not to mention your mind.

So, I get to know everyone really well in these groups. And therefore space is limited. And also, coming up even sooner than that, so the second week in May, May 11^th, 13^th, 18^th, and 20^th, I am offering an advanced coaching workshop. So, this is both good old fashioned and also cutting-edge coaching. We are going to hit the ground running.

As I mentioned in the intro, one of the most fun for me, delightful and exciting parts about coaching is having your mind blown. And that includes seeing the places where you’ve been wrong, seeing the places where you thought, you know, the thing that’s holding you back is just the thing that’s holding you back and you can only see something one way, or that the world and the truth is what it is and then all of a sudden, you have that blown to smithereens and it’s the best feeling in the world because you can feel that energy of truth and potential and freedom and love and joy, a feeling of coming home.

It is a return to that feeling of coming home, a return to, like, “Oh, that’s what it is to be me and to be alive in the world right now.” I just love that. I love those breakthrough experiences, epiphanies, revelations when they happen for me. I love witnessing, holding space when a client experiences their own breakthrough, epiphany, revelation.

You can feel it in that moment when something, like the shackles fall off and something clicks into place, the clouds part, and then you have traction again, and then you have something to work with.

It’s so gratifying. It’s the work that I love to do as a coach. And so, I’ve shared that this is Olympic mindset coaching for creatives, just to convey to you the caliber and the energy with which I approach it. And also to convey to you the energy of this space that I will be holding.

Because that’s not everybody’s jam and I totally understand that. And I think I also operate really well at the intersection of deep love and also truth-seeking and truth-finding.

So, this mini-immersion series, again, it’s four meetings. And I say meetings because I am going to be light on content and really heavily focused on laser coaching because, while there are concepts, curriculum that I could teach for decades and I love all of this material, there is also so much that you hold within your own mind that with just some help untangling things or penetrating the veil, seeing past the limitations, that alone will move you forward in such profound ways that you’ll be able to sit back and learn from yourself and digest that and process that for months and years to come.

With anything I offer, it is always my intention that whether it’s 12 weeks in the Art School or six months or a year in a mastermind or as a private client, I want this to be an experience that changes you and that the payoff just grows exponentially for the rest of your life.

This isn’t just a learn it and be done thing. This is really about that inner transformation, those meta creative skills transforming your life from the inside out so you can apply that and continue and grow for the rest of your life. And so, that’s my intention too with these four meetings, is that they be life-changing and that they be transformational and that you receive exactly what you need at this moment in time in your life, and that it pays dividends for moments and years and decades going forward.

So, if that sounds like your jam and like a great time to you, you can email us, support@leahcb.com and ask about the upcoming immersion. And again, this will be a small group. So, it is going to be an intensive with a lot of access to me and a lot of individual attention from me.

And if your hand immediately shot up in the air, if you’re one of those, you’re like, “That’s got me written all over it,” then there will also be a link in the show notes so that you can just grab your spot, secure your reservation right away and know that you’re in and we will be on our way.

So, returning to the heart of today’s episode, as I said, I hope that for you, this is pure medicine and that you do discover there is a cure in discovering the ways in which you’ve been wrong all along.

So, in therapy, there is this term, or in psychology this term cognitive distortions. And in coaching, we talk about that as the places where we have confused circumstances with our thoughts. We think the way that we are thinking I actually the truth instead of seeing that actually our thought is a choice and it is an interpretation.

So, so many of these cognitive distortions, or in coaching sometimes called thought errors, other places called lies, the ways in which we have misconceived notions or limited perceptions about ourselves, or even places where it might have some room for argument that they could be objectively true, but it is not serving you to focus on that or to believe on that.

That can be such a powerful place to play and to explore, as a coach and as someone receiving coaching. So, in today’s episode, I’m addressing this theme that comes up where people talk or describe about their journey, where they are in their journey, or their success in linear terms. and usually, if they’re frustrated or discouraged or feeling stuck, that description of where they are on that linear sort of timeline is that they’re not there, that there’s a big gap.

Or sometimes, people describe, you know, this experience of, “Well, I have this recurring experience of I get so close but then I self-sabotage.” Or other people will say, “It’s just a mystery. I get so close but then I can’t seem to close the gap.”

And that was me. I fell into the latter category. And still now, when I see myself spinning my wheels and like, “Oh, I think this is what’s going on,” this thing that you and I, all of us in this listening community are going to talk about today and in the next episode as well because I wanted to break this down and really give you some specific language and ideas to both liberate you and help you find that inner solid sacred ground again where you feel at home again in your life and you start getting traction.

So, let’s right here right now jump into the coach with me part of the podcast. And if you’ve been listening, you know this is the part of the podcast where I want you to do more than just listen. I want you to lean in really work with me.

So, take a dream, a goal or a dream that’s important to you, one that you don’t think you’ve achieved yet. And I want you to think about the ways that you relate to that goal or dream in terms of, “Oh, I’ve so far to go, I have all of this work to do. I am not there yet.” That is a classic universal phrase that I feel pretty much sums up, even if it generalizes what a lot of people’s frustration can be, “I’m not there yet.”

So, you with me? Think about how squarely you are sure that you’re not there yet. And now, here’s the fun part. What if you’re wrong about that? What if you are wrong about that? That’s what we’re going to explore today and in a different way, nuanced way next week too.

What if you’re better off than you think? What if you are actually already there, you just haven’t accounted for the ways in which you are there. Hang with me. That can be a harder one to see if you’re out there just in listening land and not listening with a coach in your face, really pushing and prodding different parts of your brain to turn it upside down.

But even if you don’t have me right in your face, consider this. What if you’re further along, what if you’re better off than you had thought? What if it’s your thinking that has been off? Really listen to that line. What if it’s not that you are not in the right place? What if it’s your thought that you’re not there yet? That is the only thing keeping you from being there.

So, those of you that are like advanced coaching ninjas, you might be right onboard. And those of you that are like, “Huh, what? That makes no sense,” just hang with me and come back and listen to this episode a few times.

What if the only think separating you from where you are and where you want to be is a thought that you aren’t there. You can also try the Byron Katie angle with this. Who would you be without the thought, “I’m not there yet?”

And now worries if you’re listening and you’re like, “Wait, what, she lost me…” all this talk about I’m actually at my goal but I’m not at my goal and the only think keeping me from it is a thought.” And you’re like, “I don’t know where she is. Either she’s lost or I’m lost or a combination of the two.” Here is a powerful intermediary, which also, those of you who are like, “Oh no, I get it. I’m still chewing and contemplating on the first one,” you’ll also love this.

And this, I want to give a shoutout to my Art School clients Maria and Laura for their excellent exchanges and posts on the forum and the ways in which they brought this work to light and then allows me to share the process and their words with you.

So, we were doing some work in the context of creative process, including creating the result of more money and wealth. And really, to the creation of a next chapter in life, to a new story about one’s life. And you can take this though and extrapolate it, apply it to anything that you want to create.
So, again, thank you so much to Maria and Laura for your excellent exchange.

So, one woman had written that after doing this work, she saw that she was financially in better shape than she had thought. And she’d been experiencing this money scarcity, wanting to work on money mindset, but then just did the numbers. So, doing the math with money work is amazing for helping with cognitive distortions because numbers are just numbers. They’re just neutral.

Whether those numbers are in your liability column, which would be debt, or in your asset’s column, which could be income or other assets. It’s still your thought about it that creates then the experience of it being good or bad, but just returning to a neutral fact like the numbers is so empowering because it already moves you out of that place of having cognitive distortions, places where you aren’t seeing clearly that are creating suffering for you.

One woman saw that, after doing the math, she was actually financially in better shape than she had thought. So, listen to that line because it mirrors the coaching I just offered you. What if the difference between where you are and where you want to be is a thought? Not actually a change in circumstance.

And I’m all for changing the circumstance when you can. And also, I’m all for looking at the ways in which we can change our experience and then circumstances with our thoughts. So, she saw that she was financially in better shape than she had thought. And then, this led to a cascade of other revelations and breakthroughs.

And after seeing her post, another woman said, “Oh my gosh, I love this. I love the work that you’re doing.” And she wrote, “It made me pose the question, what if my finances, health, creativity, et cetera are in far better shape than I assume? What if the quality of what I do is much better than I assume? What if my value and the value of what I create are much higher than I assume? What if my goal is much easier to accomplish than I assume? What if there’s much more support than I assume? The list is endless. It gave me a light, happy feeling as if it aligns with the truth and my true state of energy. And what if, in accordance with the laws of quantum physics where the observer affects the behavior of a particle by choosing the uplifting words I affect also the result of those words? Especially because they evoke lots of excitement.”

So, that’s the end of their post and their exchange. And I just love this. we have been talking in the Art School about questioning all of these assumptions, about looking at those places where, out in the world, the world would just agree, “Yep, no you’re not right there yet.” But then coming back to the source, being the dominant creative energy in your life, the world is only seeing that because I am agreeing.

Either because I have agreed to assumptions that were then conditioned upon me and then it just perpetuates this loop, or really taking full responsibility and saying that the only reason that loop ever exists is because I somehow am agreeing to it. I am an advocate for that without beating yourself up for just choosing to take responsibility because it puts you in the driver’s seat, it gives you the power back, it puts the pen back in your hand, or the eraser, to rewrite the story and shape it anew.

And I know for myself personally, some of the greatest relief – and it’s why I mentioned the laughing Buddha, because that’s the laughter. That’s the joy that you feel when you discover a place where you had a thought you were so sure was the truth.

And then you ask, “What if I’m wrong about that?” You’ve heard me talk on this podcast before about the unreliable narrator. And just coming to know that unreliable narrator in you and what their particular schtick is, you know. Mine has the same boring schtick. It’s, “I’m never there. it’s never good.” Those are all the assumptions of my unreliable narrator. So, it’s really questioning that, like what if you are wrong about that? What if you are wrong about not being there yet?

Another theme that comes up a lot in our Art School discussions are recognizing that sometimes our low standards, at one point, were our aspirations. And that sometimes, things that we have decided just are baseline and expected of us in the bare minimum, that was one time at once the dream or the goal, or very likely is currently someone else’s cherished sacred goal or dream.

So, when you pause and acknowledge that, you give yourself foundation back. You give yourself credit back. You stop discounting yourself. And as you’ve heard me say before, once you stop discounting yourself, you take your foundation back, you take your value back and stop disintegrating it and putting it on discount, then you stop discounting the results that you create and experience in life. You stop diminishing your own experience of who you are and of life.

So, these what if questions, this line of inquiry where we go on a hunt for, “Okay, it feels terrible to believe this, that I always have some sort of gap, that my goal is ever-elusive and unrealistic.” So, if it feels so terrible, then giving yourself this spaciousness and the grace to ask, “Maybe it feels so terrible because I have been wrong about that. Maybe it feels so terrible because I have been wrong about me, about what’s actually available for me. Maybe I’ve been wrong about what the road is like Maybe I’ve been wrong about what I think the process will be like for me.”

Again, these questions, this line of inquiry into where you could be wrong, and taking an open mind and an open heart and maybe a little joyful dance, anticipating what you’re going to uncover as you enter into it, it has been such a balm for me. And when I do this with clients, you can see in an instant the light and the lightness come back into them. You can see the heaviness, the burden being shed. You can see the life come back into their eyes.

So, again, for today, I want to leave you with this litany of questions that were written on the forum. And what I’m going to do is pause a little bit between each question so that, for those of you that take this on a walk or relisten, you can use it as a kind of meditation prompt to feel and notice in your body and in your mind what shifts, what changes when you consider deeply this question for yourself.

What if my finances, health, creativity, et cetera are in far better shape than I have assumed? What if the quality of what I do is much better than I assume? What if my value and the value of what I create are much higher than I assume? What if my goal is actually much easier to accomplish than I have assumed? What if there is much more support available to me than what I have assumed?

The list is endless. And for those of you listening, what, “What what-if questions would you add to this list? What assumptions of your own have you held onto so tightly and have become so heavy and burdensome? What would you like to let go of? What assumptions can you question and release that would immediately reveal to you your ever-abiding eternal alignment with the truth of who you are? It’s impossible not to be that. What if the only thing separating you from your most cherished dream is the thought that you could ever be separate?

Thank you so much for listening to another episode of The Art School Podcast. This audience is the best because I, at this point, am still organically growing the reach of this audience. So, that means so far, no Facebook ads, no formal marketing plan. It’s not that I’m anti-Facebook ads or anti-formal marketing.

It’s really that it’s been my intent to, in this second stage – I think I’m past the first stage. I’m now in the second stage – I’ve really wanted to focus in on ensuring that this podcast adds value to your life, that it is really a piece of the Art School and that it offers you some of that same life-changing magic that the Art School clients receive but at a price, it’s free to you, that’s accessible for everyone

So, that to me is worth many, many, many times over the investment that I make in creating this podcast, the investment of my time and my research and thoughts and creativity. And then also my financial investment and investing in my awesome team of producers at Digital Freedom Productions. Shoutout to the amazing Pavel and Angela and their team there, and also to the amazing head of my team, Nikki Berkel, rock-star. And all of those opportunities for me to invest in the podcast and the creation, again, are worth it.

If this brings value to you and hearing back from you the ways in which you’re using the podcast, hearing back from you what it has meant to you, that helps me know, “Hey, I am hitting the mark.” And when you tell me what you would like to hear more of, that helps me refine that even more and calibrate so that I can make sure that every week, you do receive what you most need to hear.

So, all of your feedback is so meaningful to me, so appreciated, and also the feedback you provide when you share. Because to me, that is some of the highest form of praise, is that not only has it been meaningful to you, but meaningful enough that you would share it with the people in your life that you love and that you care about. So, thank you for that ongoing support.

And if you’ve been waiting for the right moment to do that, now is the time. Consider this week the right moment. The best way is to share, organically, send it in an email or a text. Take a screenshot, post it on Instagram, tag me @leahcb1, #theartschoolpodcast. I would love to see that there. You can also subscribe, go to iTunes and leave a review.

And if you know you’d love to experience the life-changing magic that the Art School offers, we would love to have you join us. So, it’s late April 2021 as I’m recording this. So, if you are listening to this at some future moment in time, all of this same information applies.

Right now, in May, we’re offering the advanced coaching workshop in early May. And then also opening early enrollment for the Art School fall 2021. But every single month, I offer a workshop free of charge, open to everyone, every single month.

If you’d like to learn more about any of these or register for an event, you can find links to sign up in the show notes at www.leahcb.com. You can email us, support@leahcb.com. And also, be sure to sign up for my newsletter because you’ll be the first to hear about upcoming events. I don’t send out too many because I also don’t like to receive too many emails myself. But also, I will write love letters to all of you there when I have something on my mind, a heated topic that I’m feeling strongly about.

I don’t write too much because, again, I don’t want to jam your inbox. But again, when it’s at the front burner of my mind and it’s too good not to share, then I like to share it with my community in a newsletter as well.

So, to close today, I want to leave you with this. If you go back and listen to the coach with me, the what-if line of inquiry where you’re questioning assumptions, and particularly the one where I read it more slowly and give you space, this is what I would advise my clients and this is the work I would do myself.

I would take whatever particular thought it is that I’m questioning on a walk. And I would do that what-if inquiry. And then, work to feel a shift within me. I would focus on feeling a shift in my heart. I would focus on feeling a clearing in my mind. Those, for me, are just two of the subtle, but also over time, you can generate it and grow that experience, that energetic experience so it’s not so subtle.

But it’s akin to what the Buddha would have said so many years ago, that he sat down underneath the tree and he didn’t get up. He wasn’t going to get up until he was enlightened.

So, think about that word, enlightened. You don’t have to keep going for a walk or meditate on these questions until you are enlightened. But what about incremental lightness? What about looking for those incremental energetic shifts where you feel old mental patterns breaking up or you feel old places that felt burdensome and heavy, therefore signs that it may not be the truth. You feel those starting to shift and move?

Don’t just think about these things, but really work with it, with your body, feel it physically, see if you can sense what it feels like energetically, maybe you can find energy that comes back or maybe a heaviness that’s released. Really work with it and work towards that feeling of an internal shift and something clearing and changing, and then keep it coming.

As I’ve said so many times on this podcast, you can’t just learn this once. An insight does nothing. You have to continually apply it and work it and recondition your body, recondition your mind.

People will say, “Well, that sounds like hard work.” It is not nearly as hard as staying in old patterns where you are just trapped within limitations that are lies for you. So, it’s a choose-your-own-adventure really. And you, my friend, are worthy of an amazing, beautiful, magnificent adventure.

Have a beautiful week and I look forward to talking with you next time.