Ep #150: When You Encounter Resistance

If you have ever struggled with holding back, if you have ever struggled to just do the thing that you know in your heart of hearts that you really want to do, today’s episode is for you. It is short. It is sweet. And I hope you get years of mileage from this one.

You are listening to The Art School Podcast; a show for artists and creatives who want to become the next greatest version of themselves. Learn how to cultivate an extraordinary way of being and take the mystery out of making money, and the struggle out of making art. Here is your host, master certified life coach, artist, and former lawyer, Leah Badertscher.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Art School Podcast. So, I am coming off of – and I will not say coming down from – but coming from my weekend in the Mile-High City, Denver, where I went to visit my baby brother Will. We went hiking. We went off-roading. We ate a lot. And then it all culminated, Sunday night, we went to see Brandi Carlile and the band at Red Rocks. And it did not disappoint.

And so, I was thinking of this podcast and all of you so much as I was traveling back home. Because in those moments there at the concert, like rapture for me, pure rapture. And I was not overanalyzing it or anything at the time. Just enthralled with the moment and being alive. And on the way home, you know, I had some time to think and process, what is it that just resonates with me so deeply at a soul-level about experiencing something like live music that I love?

The venue is incredible. The energy there was incredible. And if I had to sum it up it would be that for me, it is such an exquisite experience of being alive to experience other people just pouring their heart and soul out and into something.

And I think that is why I love live music, and in particular you know, this show was the epitome of that. Every performer, every musician there – and the Colorado Symphony was there too – you could feel the vibration, the energy of people pouring their heart and soul out into what they are doing.

And as the audience, you receive it and the audience energy was so amazing and it goes back to the stage and it’s this give and this take. And I also know enough about the creative process to know all of the pouring out of one’s heart and soul that goes into, that culminates in the moment of a performance like that.

Basically, the years of practicing and performing, let’s say like quote unquote in the dark, when you’re writing on the backs of envelopes, you know, fragments of ideas that come to you. If you’re a musician, you know, singing into a mic that smells like beer for people to stuff a couple dollars, if you’re lucky, in your tip jar, or in some garage or touring around in a van and totally exhausted.

And yet, putting your energy into what you do and how that leads to the refinement of being able to pour your heart and soul into something, but such – I don’t think refinement is quite the word. It’s too contained. Culmination, outpouring. It facilitates an opening of those valves within us, maybe just gets rid of the valves. And we can flow what is ours to flow.

No self-consciousness, absence of self. Just channeling consciousness. So, it’s not unrelated to the topic of today’s episode. And it’s also almost like too many episodes in one. Because for anyone out there listening, god, what a privilege it is for us to be able to flow heart and soul into whatever we are doing.

To be able to create in the moment, what is true for us in that moment and then to let go and then to do the next, you know, what is ours to do. And then also, god, what a gift to be on the receiving end of that energy, to be on the receiving end of experiencing another human being’s exquisite magnificence, channeling life force and creativity in a way that no other human being can channel.

And we can sense when we are in the presence of someone who is really letting it all out, not holding anything back, really giving it their heart and soul. We’re all blessed by that. And I think we’re all rooting for that too. Forget the imperfections. Forget where it falls short maybe technically here and there. It is an uplifting for all of humanity whenever any human being is liberated like this. It unleashes that genius energy, which I think is love energy, is pure essence energy, is consciousness energy.

And that is why art moves the world forward, as the late poet Mary Oliver has said. She said, you know, “Maybe art doesn’t make the world go around.” I think we could argue that point. She said, “But unequivocally, art does move the world forward.” And this is why. Because coming from our hearts and souls is unabashed expression of life, of consciousness, of truth in that moment. That is life beginning life. And it’s life-giving for anyone in its presence. And for sure, an experience, a concert like that, I walk away thinking, “More of that. How can I be an even greater expression of that?”

And I for sure was not the only one that left the concert that way. And so, think of that for anyone on the receiving end of you. Whether it’s the way you smile at them, you know, as you meet stranger on the street, or the way you give warmth to a cashier who’s checking you out, the grocery store – not the other kind of checking you out. But maybe.

You know, or sending a letter to someone who needs to be looked in upon, or through your art, or through the care that you administer as a healthcare worker or a service provider. Whatever your particular medium for channeling creativity, that is the essence of you, your soul essence. Don’t hold back, you know.

What are we saving it for? Don’t hold back. Let life beget life. Because for sure it’s going to light up and touch the people that you meet. Even if they’re weirded out by it. There is for sure a residue that goes with them that they can’t forget and others who are more ready and willing to receive it.

You being the shining example of what a human can be, oh my god, what a great gift to be. So, don’t hold back. Don’t hold back your shining. Don’t hold back how you pour out heart and soul. And then, you know, I have a segue here, a nexus to make to the second part of this short and sweet episode I’m offering you today.

So, this next part here is a clip from one of our virtual artist dates from the Art School. Actually, it was from our virtual artist date just this week, so very recently. Because what I love about what I do is this opportunity, is this invitation to come from the heart, to pour my heart and soul into what I do. So even in the remaining five minutes where we join up again at the end of our virtual artist dates, which happen every Thursday, I try to be present for what’s going on. And to lean into and sense what wants to be said and to not hold back.

And so, as I was speaking today with the group at the last five minutes close of our virtual artist date, I was thinking, you know what, this may be a message actually for the larger Art School audience. And so, I wanted to share that with you. Here it is. I hope you enjoy and find some really valuable takeaways.

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So, this is an opportunity for you to reinforce what you want to reinforce. Because research shows your brain doesn’t actually know the difference all the times between what actually – I mean, reality is very subjective. So, this is the time to pour on the, “That was good. I’m so glad I did that. Look at me.” Like, one more day in the direction of my dreams, giving that part of that dopamine hit of, “Check, check.” You get to do that. But then reinforcing telling yourself the story of, “That was so good for me. Every time I do that, I feel better. Even if I don’t feel better immediately, I know that my week tends to go better.”

You tell yourself that and your brain is going to look for the evidence that supports that; confirmation bias. So, decide, like, how do you want to direct your brain. And the energy, the tone with which you do it is very important. Because part of wat we are also dealing with is the subconscious, the unconscious, or the super conscious, or the brain, or the body, whoever you’re talking to. And it’s not rational.

Which does not mean it’s not less-than. It’s just good to know how it works. And it speaks in story. It speaks in motion. It speaks metaphor. It speaks energy. So, if you lead that creature by, “You know what, I can just tell that was a mental, emotional, spiritual upgrade. I can tell, I put good energy out into the universe just by showing up.”

And a metaphor I really love is, back when I was doing competitive triathlon training and swimming was still the hardest thing for me to get to, I had a training partner who did Ironmans all the time and who was a triathlon coach who would say, “Just get wet. For all of you that are resistant to the swim, just get wet.” She’d start by saying one time a week. And then she’s like, “Okay, just get wet two times a week. Just get wet three times a week.”

And she really meant, just go to the pool. Get in, and get out. And so I started like that. I started just going like, “Okay, I’m here. I’m in.” And then you’re like, that was actually the hardest part. Why don’t I do at least just five laps, and then I’ll get out. That’s my getting wet for the week.

And I have had so much mileage out of that metaphor. All I need to do is just get wet. Like with going for a run, all you need to do, Leah, is just put your shoes on and get the bottom of your tennis shoes to touch the pavement at the end of the driveway. And then you’re good. Then we can call it done.

And I use just get wet for times when I was resistant to coming in my studio. I’m like, just get wet. Spend 10 minutes puttering around. Just get wet. And that breaks some sort of membrane of resistance. You know, that part of our brain that builds this whatever it is that we want to do, it makes it this huge, big thing.

So, just getting wet is something like, “Yeah, I can do that.” It’s lowering your standards to elevate your life. Lowering your standards to elevate your art. And it really, it catches on and part of you starts to – you’ll bond with that feeling of, “Oh, I did that.” Even if it was this just getting wet.

And similarly to some coaching I offered Terri, you know, around we can have a lot of big energy, intention around whatever we’re calling our goal or our intention. But to ask yourself, like, where in life do I just live in flow?

And so, for her, I use the metaphor – I mean, I was being literal too, like do you make dinner every night? Make it like making dinner. What if whatever it is that you want to create, that’s the direction you’re headed. That pretty soon for you, over time, you just keep getting wet. Pretty soon for you, whatever it is you’re doing, it becomes as you have the thought, “I should probably make something to eat.” And before you know it, you’re pulling things from the fridge or you’re not overthinking it.

A lot of whatever it is we’re trying to create can be like that. It can just be like making and moving without the noise of overthinking or overtrying or second-guessing. So, how can you just get wet. How can you make it like making dinner? And then at the end, how can you celebrate, like, “Oh my god, that was so good. That was so good.” And really build it up.

My dad used to do this at the end of our family dinners. He’d be like, “Oh my gosh, you guys, give your mother a round of applause.” And it did not matter if it was like a huge roast, a rotisserie chicken, or if it was like Hamburger Helper. He’s like, “Give your mom a round of applause. Wasn’t that amazing? Didn’t we just have such a great time? Wasn’t that conversation – see this is why you sit down as a family. That was great. This is the highlight of my day.”

And he’d build it up and build it up. And we are like eating it up, eating it up. And you know, since, I remember when we were in London, we took my parents out, Brad and I did, to somewhere. I can’t remember the restaurant. It’s like one of the tallest buildings in London and there’s a restaurant on top. It was so beautiful.

And my dad did the same thing at the end. We’re at this like five-star restaurant at the top of London and his celebration is the same as when we’re in Rudd, Iowa, on our farm. And it builds within you, really, you’re just charmed by life and charmed by your own life and where you are. And that is generative.

That will make it easy to get wet. That will be like, “This feels so good. Why wouldn’t I go this?” So, make it feels good. Like, what does it take to make life feel good? And don’t be afraid of pouring on some drama in the positive direction, like, “Oh my god wasn’t that Hamburger Helper amazing?” Oh my gosh, I can tell, every time I do a virtual artist date, spiritual, mental, emotional upgrade, boom, easy button.

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So, this brings me to the part of the podcast where I want you to do more than just listen. I want you to lean in and really work with me. Coach with me.

So, a couple different angles for approaching this week’s coach with me First, on the topic of resistance, how can you take what I just shared in this clip from the virtual artist date about ways to approach resistance? This entry point of just getting wet. Where in life could you use that approach, similar to when I was overcoming resistance to swimming.

Where could you make the tiny step to just get yourself in the pool? And then to do that consistently, and then to let that action – because action is what creates motivation.

We do not wait for motivation to act, but move into action if you’ve really discerned it’s what you want to do. If you’ve discerned this is where our heart and soul really belong, and then you’re perplexed by, “Okay, this is something that lights me up. And yet I’m not doing it.” Sometimes, you just need to get the energy of moving and put yourself in proximity to the act of doing it. Just get energy moving, get your body moving, get in the pool, get your shoes on, move yourself into the studio, open your laptop for five minutes.

Just get wet. Make a deal with yourself that you will just do that minimally at least once a week, apply this, and see how that takes off. And next, reinforce what you want to reinforce. Where can you apply this in your life? Hint, with anything you want to create and experience more of. Keep celebrating that. Keep reinforcing that.

I have a feeling – well I know – this is a theme of some upcoming episodes I have for you as well because I don’t think I can overstate it at this point. I think it’s something that our brains need to hear over and over again. Keep telling the story that you want to live. Don’t tell any other story.

Reinforce what you want to reinforce. And as I shared with in this clip, the energy that you use matters. Like your body is listening. Your psyche, your soul, your either subconscious, unconscious, super conscious, however you want to think of it, is listening and is listening like, “Are they energetically bought in? Because I’m not feeling it.” Because if you’re not moving yourself, if you don’t feel moved by what you’re saying, you’re not there yet and you’re not going to move your life either.

So, keep going for it. Just because it’s awkward in the beginning and you can’t quite get there, you just need a little practice. I promise you, just keep going, keep going, and you’re going to nail it and you’re going to know it when you do. You’ll feel a movement inside of you and you will see that movement reflected in your outside world.

And now this next thing I have to say is really just a subpoint on reinforce what you want to reinforce. But I want to give you permission where you don’t need my permission. But maybe you just need to hear this. Life is what it is. There’s plenty of difficulty. And it’s also so much of what we make it.

So, why not go ahead and let yourself live a charmed life? Romanticize your life where it suits you. Not where you’re pulling the wool over your eyes, but again where it genuinely moves your heart and soul. Let yourself be someone who is charmed by the sweet puppy walking by you at the park. Let yourself be charmed by catching a glimpse between two people that love each other. Let yourself be moved by those beautiful moments in life. Let yourself be captivated by the way the breeze moves through the trees or the sunlight filters in first thing in the morning.

Those are the precious moments of your life. Those are the precious moments that make up a charmed life. And they also lead to someone who is so deeply rooted in the experience of being alive that that valve of creativity is open. You’re participating because you are appreciating the creation that is life and your presence as a creature, as an aspect of that creation that you realize that that flow of life that you are appreciating also flows through you. And then you flow it so much more effortlessly and you appreciate it and love it when you do.

Thank you so much for listening to another episode of The Art School Podcast. If you would like to learn more about the Art School or working with my privately, please visit my website, www.leahcb.com. There you can sign up for my newsletter and hear all the latest, not too much though, on what I have to offer and also when I have something that I feel will be of value to you, I pour quite a bit of heart and soul into those newsletters too.

I really look at any point of contact, whether it’s a podcast, whether it’s a coaching conversation, a class I teach, an Instagram post, a newsletter, as an opportunity to offer value, to offer heart and soul energy, to offer transformation.

And again, if you’d like to be on that mailing list, you can sign up at my website. You can also email us, support@leahcb.com if you are interested in the Art School or any private coaching offerings. And new – I’m recording this as of September 2021, so it’s current for now. Now through the end of 2021, I’m offering limited spots for one-month private coaching. So, to learn more about that again, you can find the details on my website or email us.

So, here are some thoughts I have in closing today. One of my favorite Brandi Carlile songs includes this line, “Did I make myself a blessing to everyone I meet?” And I think that is a beautiful, substantial enough line to contemplate on its own. And I also know some of you out there listening, something like that would seem like it sets such a high standard, and too tall of an order that you might be stymied or feel like you hold back on your creativity, thinking, “Oh my gosh, everything I put into the world, have I made this substantial enough to be of value to someone?”

And I want to say, let go of that. In the moment, ask yourself, did I put heart and soul into this? Was this rendered by my own internal standards true for me in this moment? And then let it go. And then do it again and let it go. And do it again, and let it go. And so on, and so on, and so on.

And with time, if you have any of those perfectionistic chatter voices in your head that are really condescending and cruel and harsh and maybe super well-educated, and therefore all the more weaponized against yourself, really give this to yourself.

Dive into that water and just keep giving from the best that you have, let yourself come as you are. Even take off that best qualification. Give what you have over and over and over again. It starts to break down any of those inner dams we have and open up that channel, that vessel that you are meant to be.

And with time, those voices get quieter. And they just become less relevant. They have less teeth for you. I still hear those voices, but I also know, because you know with faith first and then with enough faith and then experience has born it out to be true.

I started out with faith. And on pure faith and no evidence. And then just kept going and kept going. And then eventually the evidence started to come in that there are plenty of time when those voices were like, “Oh god, Leah, I can’t believe you just released that. I can’t believe you think that that’s good enough. You should probably go back and delete that. You should probably erase that. You should probably feel super ashamed and regretful right now.”

And again though because I’d committed to tis path, like I’ve described to you, I didn’t do that. I didn’t delete, didn’t erase, and with time, I keep working at peeling back the places within myself where I’m still holding back.

And it has just born out, the evidence has, that so many times the things at this very loud and seemingly very well-educated, sophisticated voice in my brain was like, “There are so many problems with that, Leah. There are so many problems with that.” And then I hear from someone that that’s exactly what they needed to hear.

And then, it just reminds me, who am I to judge? I’m just here. I don’t want to be the judge. I don’t want that job at all. That’s not mine. What is mine is just to flow what I get and not judge it.

My favorite affirmation from Julia Cameron, “I am a vessel. I am a channel for God’s creativity and my work comes to good.” I am a channel for capital-C Creativity and my work comes to good. It’s not mine to judge how good it is. It’s not mine to even judge if other people get it or like it or understand it. And the more I flow that, the more my own life is healed and then the more – and this is such a gift – it seems that that goodness that I receive spreads out to others.

So, that’s what I have for you this week, my friends. Have a beautiful week. Pour your heart and souls into the small things that are not so small. And into your big dreams too. I’ll talk to you soon.